Well, when I suggested I profile this movie, the kinfolk said, "Move away from there." Because the great Kaiser Soze conundrum of our time is how to classify the fluid that comes out of women on porn sets—and, you know, in life. Luckily, "Liquid Gold 16" is not about "female ejaculation" or "squirting" - it's about urination. Something people do every day, after the cake fart enema. (Note to the squeamish: all liquid has been removed from t...

It's amazing how such a simple thing like actually talking to your audience can make all the difference between an ordinary Xtube jerkoff video and something really memorable, though in the case of the amusingly named thedudewhosadude it may also have something to do with his cute boy-next-door appeal, that intriguing frenu(lu)m piercing, and the comparatively epic ten minute length of his videos. Put all those things together and ... well, can y...

We already know that boredom is a leading factor in people making homemade jerkoff videos. We also know that many of you happen to be bored. (Welcome to the club!) However, under no circumstances should that give anyone license to take out your sexual frustrations—or your penis—on an innocent shop vac. Sure, they can be hot and wet under the right circumstances, and yes, they're made for sucking down wood and screws. But we don't advi...

"My wife hates hookers," laments Dirty Harry, Porn's Everyman, to the neo-Crumb Girl Harmony. "Especially ones who smoke." Harry has just been informed by a workman that his repairs will not be ready in time for his wife to return, so Harry needs to take out his fear and frustration on Harmony. "I paid for you," he says as Harmony gets uppity. "I can do whatever I want!" Harmony knows that Harry's wife will beat him soundly when she sees the hou...

We wondered why it took "Fuck Truck" so long to arrive, what with all the "Bang" Boats and Buses out there and the "Autobang Sluts" and the Mile-High Club and "Dirty Aeroflot Honeys" (Well, we made up that last one, but at least we didn't say "Mopedophiles"). Then we realized that "Fuck Truck" was cast-off or deleted footage from other movies, which is why it lacks what Pauline Kael called "truck continuity." Shot by Jim Powers, "Fuck Truck" at t...

Ever since Joe Gage made the instant gay porn classic "Arcade On Route 9" a few years ago we've been anxiously awaiting each of his subsequent releases to see when he'll come up with one worthy of joining it on our (very short) list of favorite skin flicks of all time. That's admittedly a lot to ask of any porn director. So when we say that "Chainsaw" doesn't quite hit those same splooge-drenched heights it's not meant as much of a criticism as i...

If you've been drooling over the Flickr stream of NYC's Lars Stephan as much as we have over the last couple of years, you might be interested to know that one of our esteem'd porn blogging colleagues has stumbled upon a solo stroke vid starring someone who looks an awful lot like the man himself. (Or at least parts of him look like Lars at least: while he remains headless throughout, that distinctive musculature and body hair pattern and home de...

There is a zesty debate here at the Fleshbot Lyceum over what constitutes inappropriate porn: I say nothing but corporate altporn and they say everything that doesn't have Keeley Hazell in it. Included in that broad latter category is exploitively interracial content such as today's Porn Of The Moment, "I Can't Believe You Sucked A Negro: A Cuckold's P.O.V." by the irrepressible Johnson Brothers of Chatsworth Pictures. It is the first porn movi...

According to some of the leading financial minds in the country, our current economic state is—what's the technical term? Oh yeah ... "not good." Consumer confidence is down, debt is up, and China is slowly poisoning us with lead toys that you can get for a $1.50 at Wal-Mart even though it cost you $4 in gasoline to get there. But that's not what worries Variety editor Peter Bart: It's the porn business, stupid! That's how he knows things a...

"The Big Lebowski"'s Jackie Treehorn lamented the death of "feelings" in the advent of porn's video age, but Dirty Harry can always be counted on to provide a scene with its emotional heart. Here he watches himself be cuckolded by his wife, Holly Wellin, and three strapping fellows of races that happen to be different from hers but have nothing to do with the theme of the movie. "Everybody in the neighborhood's doing it," he says, but ultimately ...

Unlike her flash-in-the-pan fascinatingly-named predecessor Strokahontas, Rucca Page seems fierce and present. With a Billy Idol sneer, bruised knees, maybe a baby in the next room, and a way of saying "pussy" that sounds like there's an "i" in it, Ms. Page handles and absorbs all manner of objects in the aptly-titled "Over-Stuffed 5." I don't know where she's been or where she'll go, or even where the name "Rucca" came from, but one thing is cer...

Audrey Hollander is surprised when her yearly gyno checkup gets too familiar: "Any tenderness? Pressure?" The doctor asks about a hundred times. If I were Hollander, I would have had my HMO authorize anyone other than someone named "Dr. Probe." While the cover of "Dr. Probe's Lab of Perversion: The Demon Gynecologist of the San Fernando Valley" promises a sardonic porn right up the alley of writer/director Jim Powers, Hollander's scene is so awas...

Maybe you're like me and thought "Runaway" was a Night Ranger song and had to be reminded that it was Bon Jovi who sang about how daddy's girl learned fast all the things he couldn't say. But I don't think Daisy Tanks has parents; I think she sprang fully pierced from the ground. Read our review of the punk rock document "Little Runaway 2" after the gap. Little Runaway 2 Studio: Powersville Director: Jim Powers Cast: Daisy Tanks, Desire Moore,...