Dear Mainstream Media,Can we talk? Okay. You know I love you, but you have to get with it, image-wise. I have spoken to you before about this doomed love affair you're having with the cats-eye mask?I see that you can't seem to help yourself. But just stop. Using an image of someone in a mask like this to portray a kinky person is like showing a photo of this guy to portray the modern hippie movement.I hate that collar, too - the model looks as if...

Professional Advice Dear Mistress Matisse I am going to two Mistress apprenticeship interviews, and can you imagine what kind of confidence boosting help I got when I Google'd "job interview" and dominatrix? Not much. I thought I'd email some of the Dominatrixes whose blogs I've read, to ask if anyone had any dungeon job interview tips. The madams and Mistresses I spoke to on the phone sounded very welcoming, but I do wonder if they'll ju...

It's always amusing when mainstream media reports something that everyone already knows as if it's big news. Today, CNN announced that people often exchange sex for things or for services. Wow, what a stunning revelation. Men and women both. For thousands of years! Who knew?Um, like everyone past puberty. And a lot of people before it, too, I imagine. I know I had it figured out when I was a kid. I don't know how sophisticated I would have been ...

The new column in the new Stranger....Note to my Dear Readers: yes, I'm aware that there was recently a snarky letter to the editor about me in The Stranger. It would be nice if everyone thought I was wonderful all the time, but unfortunately, that's not how things work. And I learned long ago that if you're going to live your life in the public eye (even in a small way), then you better develop a thick skin.Everyone is entitled to an opinion. If...

Hello, Seattle, glad to be back! Wow, it's raining - who'd have thought?A few notes: if you emailed me about seeing me in the near future, I will get back to you as soon as humanly possible, I swear. I'm just a bit behind... (Which is as frequent a circumstance as the rain, I know.)A couple of (very tame and vanilla) snapshots from Vegas up on the Flickr feed. I meant to take more and I just got distracted.Speaking of Vegas, I tried on this jacke...

The Cher show? Was great. In addition to the (more or less) live songs, she included a lot of video clips from the old Sonny & Cher variety show, and it was a delightful reminder of the fact that Cher's been doing this gig since I was just a tot. Which I still am, compared to Cher. And damn, I hope I look as good as she does when I'm in my sixties. (I don't care that she's had surgery. If you look good, it doesn't matter to me how you brought...

Well, here I am in Vegas. I haven't been here since my ill-fated wedding here in 1999. I've actually only been here once before that, so I am not a Vegas expert. Thus, I gawked like a rube as we drove down the Strip.I had forgotten how surreal casinos are, how Disney-esque. It's easy to just step out of your life into this non-real world. (Which is exactly what they want you to do, of course.)Musing on that, I thought to myself, I wish I could a...

Wow, it's hot.But as fate would have it, I'm about to go someplace even hotter. No, I don't mean Hell. (Although if that place actually existed, I have no doubt that once I arrived there, I'd be given a corner office. After all, to quote Motley Crue, "The Devil is a friend of mine...")No, I'm going to Las Vegas for a few days, with a man who I think I will dub - Elvis. I haven't been on a trip with Elvis before, so this will be an adventure for ...

From the "silly emails" department... I wanted to say hello to You and say I was impressed with Your site.1 it was also nice not to see the typical "I will dominate you for $xx.xx".2 I think Your site seems genuinely interested in the wants and needs of submissives, which brings me to my question. Who is really in charge if a session is set up for all the wants and needs of the submissive?3 What i want to know, is what do YOU truely enjoy?4. W...

Some random sexual thoughts? Suggestion for strap-on wielding ladies: if you haven't got some already, buy yourself a pair of snugly fitting boy-shorts style panties. Get some that are a fairly thick knit, nothing too wispy. Put the strap-on harness over the panties. Then take a vibrator and shove it snugly into the front of the panties over the right spot. Now fuck. The panties will hold it in place better than just the harness, and pressure...

Oh, this sort of thing makes me mad. Way to go, Christian educators. Granted, you don't have to like or employ the author of the sex blog, but could you not visit the "sins" of the mother upon her child? Especially when you already agreed not to? The "Catalina Loves" controversy.

From The Mail Bag I'm a Seattle-based indie pornographer, and I'm looking to buy a condo in the near future. I'm looking to get a studio on the low end of the pricing scale, and almost all studios in cute older buildings are co-ops. The idea of going before a co-op board and explaining myself is quite terrifying to me. I'm wondering if you have any feel as to how sex worker friendly the co-op boards in Capital Hill might be?Secondly, do you hav...

Today is Monk's birthday.There are a lot of amazingly cool things about Monk, as I have noted in previous birthday posts. But the best thing about him is that he just keeps on getting more amazing all the time. We've been partners for a little over four years now - which is sort of amazing in and of itself. He was wonderful when I met him. However, he soon surpassed mere wonderfulness and moved on to being fabulous, and thence to sensational, and...