A new Stranger column is up - this one about that very annoying "You're Kinky? You Must Have Been Abused As A Child" myth... Enjoy!

Take AIMA delicate subject, STDs, but occasionally one I can find some humor in. Take what happened to me a few months ago?Now, I'm not monogamous, and neither are my partners. We're all as smart and as careful as we can be, and I actually have great confidence in smart-and-careful when it comes to STDs. For my entire sexual life, using latex protection and basic safer sex practices has served me and my partners very well indeed.But you can't get...

If you're a sex worker who likes her career, and if you talk about it and read other people's thoughts about it at all, there comes a point when you realize you've heard all the standard anti-sex work arguments before. The trouble is the people making them think they're new ideas, and trot them out to you as though you hadn't already answered them 3,458 times.I have toyed with the idea of making a quick reference, flow-chartish sort of handout to...

I'm excited about what's happening in my dungeon today: I'm getting the carpet swapped out! No, that's not some bit of sexual slang, I mean carpet. Kinky, huh?Okay, maybe it's not sexy to you. But I'm very happy with my place. Buying my own house was an extremely big deal to me, and I'm still pleased and proud of it. I love having a place I own to play in, it makes me feel way more private and secure than I ever did in rented spaces. I have a str...

Another podcast, and another riff from Monk about how I'm playing with my nipple. Even though I'm not. Then, letters: the first is from a listener asking about jealousy and threesome sex/BDSM. Threesomes are fraught with peril, in my opinion. The best threesome experiences I have had were in situations with three previously-uninvolved people.* The emotional stakes are considerably lower when no one has ever slept with anyone else before. An estab...

I love this fun and informative graphic about men's sperm. I have only one thing to add: pineapple. For men and women, pineapple makes all your body fluids - and trust me, I mean all of them - taste sweeter. If you want to taste better, eat pineapple, or at least drink the juice.(Okay, I guess I don't know about the taste of one's blood. But sweat, spit, girl secretions, and piss? Absolutely. I also have a theory that drinking lots of diet pop al...

I have a new column in The Stranger about a topic I'm frequently asked for help with: handling intense jealousy. ***And a calendar note: I'm out of town from March 15th to March 22nd. I'm going down to Southern California for a few days with Traveler, which should be lovely. And then I'm going to Kinkfest!

It is Thomas Cromwell's fault I have a bunch of new books.What? Yes, I know he's been dead for almost 500 years. Cromwell being the sort of guy he probably was, I'm sure he'd be pleased to know he was still influencing people. Especially a woman like me.It happened because I wanted to read Wolf Hall, a novel about Thomas Cromwell by Hilary Mantel. So I went to That Big Electronic bookseller and found it. Easy, right? I should have been gone in si...

Mistress Matisse's Tips For Happy Polyamory, #17Thou Shalt Not Oust The Incumbent Partner from his/her living space so you can have a date with the mutual lover. This is a violation of important poly tenets Root For The Home Team and (the self-explanatory) Be Very, Very Nice To The Primary. I have come to the conclusion that one of the reasons my poly life runs rather smoothly is that we have physical space to spread out in. The Big House is, as ...

It's time for a new podcast!Show notes: First of all, I was not playing with my nipple while we were recording, all right? Let the record show. The bomb shelter we're doing these things in is freezing cold, so I was actually wearing a leather jacket. A motorcycle-style jacket, so that's two layers of leather over my chest. You could not have found my nipple with a sonogram. That's just Monk being silly.Our first question is a letter from someone ...

Today I'm observing the 6th anniversary of this blog. Yep, I've been writing here steadily for six years. That's practically forever, in blogger time.When I started doing it, I had no idea how popular this blog would get, and how much it would change my life. In my cranky moods, I often compare this blog to the alien, blood-sucking plant in Little Shop Of Horrors: constantly demanding my precious time and energy.And blogging is not the shiny cool...

Art Imitates Life Or is the other way around? I can never remember. But I was thinking about it last night, when Monk and I did our second appearance at the Peg-Ass-Us show. That photo? I brought that very harness and dildo with me to the show and displayed it to the audience. Everyone seemed to enjoy seeing it, although no one volunteered to let me actually demo anything on them. Too bad.The show is fun and sexy and educational and simply deligh...

Primary/Secondary, BDSM Scene Interruptions, and Kink CelebritiesA fresh new podcast! By popular request, we've gone to a slightly longer format for this one, it's about eighteen minutes. In this episode, TwistedMonk and I answer a variety of your questions. The first one is about primary/secondary partners in polyamory ? can one person in a relationship be a primary partner and the other person be a secondary?The second question is about dealin...