Hi. So, yeah - I'm not blogging so much these days. Who knows, this blog may live again some time, but not right now.If you're new here, check out the archives for seven years of articles about sex, BDSM, sex work, polyamory, and various other topics both sacred and profane. The last few years have tags, or employ an advanced Google search to find keywords. If it has to do with sex, I've probably written about it.I twitter here.My articles appear...

The latest column in The Stranger, about the way one should measure one's success as a top.And an answer to a question about collars and the subtleties of BDSM relationships.***Under My Protection and Collars of ConsiderationI saw some questions about this on a kink community board I'm on, so I'm using them as a blog-prompt for myself. Q: When someone says, "So-and-so is under my protection", what does that mean?That phrase may or may not mean t...

I have neglected the blog lately, so here's a bit of catch-up. A Stranger column about Why Nerds Rule The BDSM Community . And the one before that, about How Not To Have An Open Relationship.Now, the podcasts. I know you like the podcasts, I read all the emails you send me about them, and that is great, because TwistedMonk and I like doing them. There have been technical problems, but Monk has wrestling manfully with the issues for months. It has...

Been missing my podcasts? They are soon to return, but meanwhile, enjoy me on Dan Savage's podcast, Savage Love!

Another of the Blog Greatest Hits: Occasionally the tables are unexpectedly turned on the the Mistress...***So I got handled by a lot of strange women yesterday. And I spent a lot of money for the privilege, too. Let me back up a bit. I have had hardly anyone booked to see me this week. Usually when it's slow I try to shake the tree a little, entice some more people into my clutches. But this week I just decided to say the heck with it and let...

I did a scene last night, and I remembered this post I'd written a while back about identifying with movie characters that people might not expect, and how it feels, physically, when I am being very, very mean to someone..."My mother always told me, 'Someday, you'll be good at something.' I don't think she coulda guessed that something would be zombie-killing."Oh, the many futures our mothers did not predict for us...***Last week, I had the pleas...

I'm expecting a bit of heat from the blogosphere about my Stranger column on Ms. Nickie Blue's recent video for Kink.com. Here's a few points that my 500-word-limit didn't allow me to make...Yes, I did trade some email with Nickie Blue. She's a lovely woman, she seems like a charming person, and I wish her the best in her career.I have some thoughts about the video as a piece of erotic art, separate from the offstage controversy. But I will save ...

I continue to mine my own archives to bring ya'll some long-form amusement... This is a story about what happens when women cruise each other. Originally posted Saturday, February 05, 2005.***Maybe I Should Get A Septum Piercing Or Something? Because I must look too normal. I realized this last Wednesday evening when I was changing clothes in the locker room at Gold's on Broadway after my workout. A woman I'd not seen around before walked in, set...

Just to show ya'll that I have not abandoned you: a repost of a scene Jae and I reminisced about the other day - spanking the Bicycle Man. The photos are not for the faint of heart.***SmackNow, not everybody I see is into heavy intense sensation. But I do have a handful of boys who like it as heavy as I can dish it out. I've written about this kind of scene before, and that may have been what prompted a gentlemen I'll call the Bicycle Man to c...

I've been really bad about not updating recently. And this URL is due for a big overhaul soon, so if you see it changing, don't panic. The content will not be going away, it'll just look different, that's all.Meanwhile, the two most recent Stranger columns, for those of ya'll who missed them. Why Don't Men Wear Strap-Ons? and What's In/What's Out 2011.Happy New Year!

Two important points before you read this. One: in this blog post, I make some sweeping, gender-based generalizations, and I make them in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek manner. I am aware that not every man or woman feels, thinks and acts in the ways I mention. This is a light-hearted blog post, not a feminist manifesto, so don't get your gender-neutral panties in a twist, please.And two: naturally every man of my acquaintance is an exception to all ...

I have something for both the poly people and the kinky people today. And if you're both, go you!Seattle people: My darling Max is teaching a class this Sunday from 2-5pm: Rope Bondage 201. Like all of Max's classes, it will be partly about techniques, and partly about the abstract elements of a scene. And it will be wholly awesome, so you should go. More info, here.And: the latest Stranger column, about unproductive behaviors that certain types...

As I muse today about how the important people in my life have a habit of evolving outside of the boundaries I anticipated placing around the relationship... Please enjoy a story about me, Max and Jae, originally published here, in July 2004.Me, Max, and JaeAs Max and I approach the fifth anniversary of our first date, I've been thinking about the fact that if my submissive, Jae, didn't have such a big clitoris, Max and I might never have gone on...